You’re Not Failing — Chronic Stress Is Sabotaging Your Health

What if the reason you cannot lose weight or stick to healthy habits is not a lack of willpower?

In this powerful episode of the Plant Based Support Podcast, Dr. Niki Davis sits down with board certified physician Dr. Alona Pulde to explore a piece of lifestyle medicine that is often overlooked. Connection.

Not just connection to others, but connection to yourself.

Dr. Pulde’s journey into lifestyle medicine was personal. After her father passed away suddenly at age 55 despite following what many would consider a healthy Mediterranean style diet, she began searching for answers. Switching from beef to chicken to fish had not protected his heart. Discovering whole food plant based nutrition through the work of pioneers like McDougall and Esselstyn changed everything. She witnessed patients reverse disease in as little as ten days.

But even that was not the whole story.

Despite eating a pristine plant based diet, exercising daily, and prioritizing sleep, Dr. Pulde and her husband still faced health challenges. This led them to explore chronic stress, nonviolent communication, and the healing power of emotional regulation.

One of the most eye opening insights from this conversation is how the body interprets stress.

We are wired for danger. Whether the threat is a tiger or a to do list, the physiological response is the same. Cortisol rises. Inflammation increases. The body shifts into survival mode. In that state, it holds on to weight, stores fat, and prioritizes preservation over healing.

This is why so many women especially feel frustrated.

They are eating less, exercising more, and still not seeing results. Often they are juggling careers, caregiving, and unrealistic expectations while losing connection to their own needs. Late night ice cream is not a failure of character. It is often an attempt at relief.

Dr. Pulde emphasizes that we must learn to put on the safety brake intentionally.

Slowing down, identifying unmet needs, and reframing the inner critic can profoundly change health outcomes. When patients reconnect to meaning, purpose, joy, and supportive relationships, physical healing follows.

The takeaway is both simple and revolutionary. Food matters. Movement matters. Sleep matters. But so does connection. When we miss that piece, we miss the opportunity for true healing.

Watch the full episode to learn how integrating plant based nutrition with emotional and relational health can transform your life.

Episode’s Transcript

Please understand that a transcription service provided the transcript below. It undoubtedly contains errors that invariably take place in voice transcriptions.

Niki Davis, MD (00:01.911)
Hello, I'm Dr. Nikki Davis, and this is the Plant-Based Support Podcast, where we share evidence-based wisdom, real stories, and support for your journey to better health through plant-based living. Now, I actually started out as an engineer on the Space Shuttle program before making a big change in my own health and career by moving to a plant-based diet. Now, I'm a lifestyle medicine physician helping patients all over the world through lifestyletelemedicine.com.

And today I get to chat with Dr. Alona Polde, a board certified family medicine physician and practitioner of acupuncture and oriental medicine, and a leading expert in integrative lifestyle and nutritional medicine. She is widely recognized for her whole person approach that bridges the wisdom of traditional Chinese medicine with the evidence-based principles of Western healthcare. But before we dive in, let's take a quick learning moment.

Now, much of Dr. Polde's work highlights something that we often overlook in healthcare, the healing power of connection. Science shows that feelings of isolation and disconnection can raise stress hormones, weaken our immune system, and increase the risk of chronic disease. On the other hand, fostering authentic connection with ourselves and with others can lower stress, improve resilience, and actually help our bodies heal.

Connection is truly medicine. Now I'm honored to introduce you today to Dr. Alona Polde. Thank you so much for being with us.

Alona (01:34.755)
Thank you so much for having me. What a great learning moment.

Niki Davis, MD (01:39.071)
Yeah, thank you. So first of all, this is our first time really meeting. And I know of you because I know that you work with your husband, Dr. Matthew Liederman. I'm familiar with Connection Docs. But because this is kind of our first time meeting, I would love it, and especially because there might be people listening who aren't familiar with you, to hear a little bit about who you are and how you got into this space.

Alona (02:05.454)
Yeah, yeah, so I think I got pushed into medicine as a child by a dad who was really excited about medicine and who was kind of living a little bit vicariously. But so ever since I was younger, medicine was just a draw, helping people heal, watching people heal, understanding the body.

and what contributes to disease, what contributes to health, how do we keep ourselves healthy. And that was a really big piece of growing up for me. so...

It was kind of a shock when I went into pre-med to be really disillusioned with kind of where medicine was going. And it felt more like people were just kind of funneling through a system, you know, where they would go in for these really quick 10, 15 minute visits. And it was more about managing medicine than really treating well-being.

And so at the same time I was working with an acupuncturist, I was volunteering with an acupuncturist, I fell in love with Chinese medicine. What I fell in love with was the holistic approach that it takes, which is really seeing the entire person, taking into account what your social life looks like. What are your hobbies? What are your joys? What do you get fulfillment out of? Where are you finding meaning and purpose? What is your family structure? Who is supporting you? And so I went into traditional

Chinese medicine, but my mentor there studied East-West medicine in China and she said throughout my whole studies You're never gonna be satisfied just being just knowing Chinese medicine and she was right. So eventually I went back into Western medicine with a plan of merging the two And in my second year of medical school, I had a personal devastation my father passed away suddenly and this was

Alona (04:09.272)
I mean it was really absolutely devastating to not only personally but professionally because here I had an eastern background. I was in my second year of medical school. My father was 55 years old as far as I knew fairly healthy active on a Mediterranean diet. Yes he had high cholesterol but he was on a statin and that was it.

So what happened? I was just shattered really because I couldn't figure it out. And so I finished medical school and I was really fortunate through residency, my first year of residency, I met Matt. And Matt was already traveling down the nutrition and lifestyle pathway he had researched into Dr. McDougall and Esselstyn Campbell and Fermin, Neil Barnard, all the big names. And he started introducing me

to nutrition and lifestyle medicine, I realized, ah, this was a piece that I was missing, this was a piece that my dad was missing. So yes, he got advice, but he got advice to switch from beef to chicken to chicken to fish. Neither of that, we know on a whole food plant-based diet, helps with eliminating excess cholesterol. And so it was really eye-opening. I did a number

of

McDougall immersions at the time, which were 10-day immersions that he had, people were really, really sick. And it was amazing to me to see in 10 days on a whole food plant-based diet where people were buffet style eating, know, all you can eat, we're losing weight and getting off of medication in 10 days. And this was something that in my conventional practice was not something that could be done. I mean, it really was

Alona (06:07.798)
done period. And so I knew right away this this is what I went into medicine for. This is what I want to do. I want to actually heal people and this is this is a way to actually do that. And so after that yeah.

Niki Davis, MD (06:19.507)
Yeah. So was this, so was this, did you attend as a patient or did you go in as a resident and kind of shadow or what did you do with that? This was the in-person program.

Alona (06:30.702)
So it was the in-person program. So I shadowed a couple times and then I started actually working with Dr. McDougall to see some of his patients, which was a huge honor. And so I learned through that experience and it was fabulous. It was...

everything that I went into medicine for, which is to see people actually thrive at the end of it all, you know? And so was no brainer that that was the medicine that Matt and I were gonna practice. And so after residency, we opened our own practice and nutrition lifestyle was a foundation of it for a really, really long time.

We worked with Whole Foods Market for over a decade opening medical centers that really focused on converging traditional medicine with nutrition and lifestyle medicine. through it all, Matt and I are constantly taking inventory over our own health. How are we doing? It's that learning process and that evolution that helps us then give our patients what we know and what we learn.

that inventory, our diet was pristine. We were exercising daily. We were really working on honoring our sleep and protecting that sleep. And still there were things that weren't quite, Matt had a lot of back pain. He was even considering surgery at the time. I had a lot of stomach issues that weren't resolving despite all of that. And so we started looking into nonviolent communication.

and how connection not only to others but to yourself, how we talk to ourselves, how the limiting beliefs that we allow ourselves are inner critic to kind of persevere with. And they really are limiting in what we can do not only.

Alona (08:40.728)
for our well-being, but in that aspect of our medical health. And the more that we incorporated that, the more that we started seeing, there's a real value. I mean, we talk about chronic stress all the time, but I don't think it integrated how devastatingly harmful

Chronic stress can be on your system that that stress of you know that fight-or-flight constant mobilization Living in survival mode which so many of us do and the more we try and be productive and Efficient the less we become there's only so much time in a day So the more we're focusing on that the less we're connected to others in our world and then even in to our

You know, we get lost in that productivity and in that efficiency. And it has actual significant health harms.

Niki Davis, MD (09:46.843)
Yeah. And you know, it makes me think about, you know, of course I'm definitely one of those people. try to be efficient and productive during the day. And I find myself just like you mentioned. Now, this is something that I don't think a lot of people talk about, but that connection with yourself and how you talk to yourself, because when we go see a therapist, it's a lot about our relationships with other people, not necessarily as much about our relationship with ourself. And so I think it's

probably very common for people, and I know I've done it, that if I'm not getting things done, I'm like, you know, just, I, you know, I'm failing here because I have this to-do list that I'm not completing, even though I've been working so hard to get these things done, right? So how do you talk to people about that? Because I think a lot of us are in that loop of trying to just survive.

Alona (10:39.548)
for sure, for sure. And one of the areas that I specialize in is women's health. And I see that a lot in women, especially women in their later 30s, 40s and on, where that superwoman syndrome of really trying to juggle it all and manage it all causes a real loss of self-identity. And we...

We no longer connect to what are we needing? What are we wanting in life? What actually brings us joy? What...

How are we feeling about the life that we're currently living and all that we're holding and managing? And when we start, that's one of the beautiful and one of the most impactful pieces in kind of the counseling that we do now, incorporates nonviolent communication. Because it is a really empowering way to look at the world.

very differently and from a place of power versus victimization and hopelessness. And the reason for that is it reconnects you to core needs and we all have needs. Those are universal. We have needs for shelter. We have needs for nutrition. We have needs for intimacy, discovery, joy. There's so many exploration, adventure.

safety. And so all of those needs, one of the things that helps us identify whether our needs are met or not met are our feelings.

Alona (12:21.23)
Are we feeling, are we having pleasant sensations? Are we having unpleasant sensations? And I'm kind of, you know, this is really the basics, but it can be as simple as that. When you are experiencing pleasant sensations, that's indicative that your needs are going met, or your needs are being met. And when you experience unpleasant sensations, that's a message to you that there are needs that are not being met. So much of what we do in this

survival mode, mobilized mentality comes out of an obligation, out of these expectations and often unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Like you mentioned that everlasting to-do list. Like it's never ending. You won't get to the end. There's always one more thing that you're going to add to it. And so we cannot meet those expectations. We're bound to fail.

And in that failure, we're getting constant messages in our bodies, that whole notion of, I'm failing right now.

not something is not right I am not in a sense I'm not in a place of peace and safety and the body amps up cortisol and up our stress hormones and amps up our hyper vigilance so that we do better so that we move faster so that we get more done

And so part of that is really kind of reconnecting people to a new language. Slowing things down.

Alona (14:05.39)
to ironically have more expansive experiences in life. So it doesn't seem like that's going to happen, but it actually does. Because you're not burnt out all the time. You're not exhausted. You're not chasing, constantly chasing because you're really literally burning yourself out. And the body is screaming for some rest, for some reset, for some recuperation.

And I think a lot of times we continue to ignore, we continue to ignore until we get diagnosed with that disease or we experience pain, pain that's so debilitating that we must stop and take personal inventory. But the idea is how can we do that ahead of the game? How can we do that before all of that happens? And a lot of that is based

on really connecting to our core needs. What is going unmet? And when you can connect to those needs, all of a sudden the things we can do about them, the strategies, which is where that productivity and efficiency lie in that realm of strategy, becomes significantly more expansive.

in a way that opens up more space for joy, actual real health and joy and well-being in your life.

Niki Davis, MD (15:36.718)
Yeah, wow. So I'm curious if you have any cases like especially interesting or successful clients or patients that you've worked with where, I mean, you mentioned your own health and how, you know, you and your husband were both doing really well with the plant-based lifestyle and getting good exercise and sleeping well, but still having some issues. So you can either talk about your own

personal or maybe a couple of cases that you've had.

Alona (16:08.262)
Yeah, you know, I talk about and I can talk about in general because I see it on a regular basis, but women who come in and I hear, I just can't lose the weight. I am eating less, I'm exercising more, and it's still like nothing is coming, know, nothing's shifting the needle. And when you get down to it, it's these women who are...

working either at home or at an external job, who are managing the household, who are taking care of kids or their parents or their significant other. And in that, again, is losing themselves and staying in this chronic state of stress, a chronic state of stress that creates this inflammatory cascade. And in that inflammatory cascade, everything kind of shuts down for preservation.

And what's challenging is that we as human beings are hardwired, we're wired for danger. And it's an evolutionary advantage. We really, we wanna know that when the tiger is running at us, we're not sitting debating, is this a nice tiger? Is this one gonna eat me? We wanna know, like, when you see that tiger, you run. So we're primed for where is danger and when do I actually act.

And we have to physically, actively, mindfully put on the safety brake. But when we get lost in all of the things that we do, we live in that chronic state of danger. We're constantly monitoring for it. And this is where that inner critic, where those limiting beliefs come into play, because now it's not just the physical tiger that's coming at us. It's all of those...

thoughts that are in our heads constantly. That is...

Alona (18:07.008)
Equivalent in our body physiologically that's equivalent whether you have mental or emotional stress or physical stress it's it The same things are occurring in the body that same inflammatory cascade and the same shutdown the body goes into a survival preservation mode and there's What it's going to want to hold on to it's going to want to hold on to weight and it's going to want to hold on to fat and it's going to want to hold on to all those things because

You don't know what tomorrow is gonna bring maybe there's gonna be famine tomorrow. So we got a whole that when we're in danger We got a hold on to everything and It's amazing when you know, they come for weight loss They want to work on food and when we get down into what is actually going on there's so many layers of that onion to start peeling and and much of it gets down to the same story, which is

people who have lost themselves in their need to kind of be for others or be more productive or be more efficient or have all these external expectations that they're trying to live up to that the internal shell becomes completely empty. And so it's then how do we restore

what's inside and this is weight loss, is diabetes, this is cancer, this is fears, fears that are really debilitating. I had a client who was afraid to drive, who was afraid, I mean basically agoraphobic almost. And.

So much of that fear resulted from those limiting beliefs resulting from that constant chronic mobilization and things that were repressed or suppressed or just, you you soldier up.

Alona (20:11.17)
to just keep going. And once you can kind of get to, you reestablish that regulation, you reestablish that safety, you reestablish that connection to self, you show people how you can meet your own needs and still be a productive member of society, still be a helpful mother, a helpful partner, a helpful daughter or son, you know, it doesn't, it

take away from that it just creates a different approach and one that nourishes you as well as those around you.

Niki Davis, MD (20:51.8)
Well, it's good because it sounds very hopeful, right? This is a difficult conversation. I think this is something that I mentioned it before, but we just don't really talk about. And in fact, I know that there are plenty of, like you mentioned, women who are doing everything right and they're still struggling with medical issues, whether it's weight loss or other.

Alona (21:16.61)
Yes.

Niki Davis, MD (21:18.943)
and they feel like it doesn't matter what I do, it's not making a difference. So what's the purpose of me continuing to try?

Alona (21:25.336)
Yes, and it's so demoralizing, right? They're working so hard and they're trying so hard and they're miserable in it and they're still not seeing the results. And it really creates that sense of personal failure too. What is wrong with me?

Niki Davis, MD (21:28.449)
Yeah.

Alona (21:46.703)
So there's again is one more limiting belief that is added to an already weighty situation. You know, so yes, it is hopeful and it's it's For me, it's it's it's a lot of fun and it's really pleasure it I derive a lot of pleasure from it because I actually see people getting better and That's amazing

and I see them re-empowered and reinvigorated and as they start to see results in the just the and sometimes they're really small changes at the beginning but those changes have a ripple effect and so you see it kind of right away and it's fantastic.

Niki Davis, MD (22:38.006)
So I'd love to hear a little bit more about what would someone expect for if they want to work with you. So I'd love to hear just kind of what do you offer, I guess. And then if someone does come to work with you, what should they expect during your visit? What kinds of things are some of the basics that you go over initially?

Alona (23:00.108)
Yeah, so right now we're doing personalized coaching and that's tailored to, we're putting together classes as well and those are...

going to be coming soon, but right now it's coaching. And really it takes an individual path. Everybody that comes in is, we do a full evaluation, which is also what is your medical history, what are your goals, what are you looking to achieve? And then based on that, that starts the journey. So it really depends on what people are coming in with.

and where they want to focus and what's interesting is, know, some people, yes, I just saw forks over knives and I have this chronic disease and, I have diabetes or I have a heart disease and I really want to get off my medications. And then we'll start with...

Nutrition, how is that going? What are you eating? Let's take a food diary. Let's take a deep dive into what are you eating? How are you sleeping? Are you moving your body? And then, how connected are you with yourself? How connected and supported are you in your people?

Do you have a community and what does that look like? How are your relationships with your family? Where do you derive meaning and purpose? And so we take a comprehensive evaluation of who you are. And then we map out how do we get you where you want to be.

Niki Davis, MD (24:51.23)
Yeah, it's just so refreshing to hear because I think that unfortunately you and I have both been through the conventional medical training journey and we don't, we're not taught to do it this way. We're not taught to look at the whole person and look at, mean, just these simple questions of who are you connected to? What are your relationships look like? I mean, it seems like very basic questions, but we don't.

Alona (25:17.442)
Yes.

Niki Davis, MD (25:21.141)
ask those. Yes, we go through a social history, but it's pretty brief. And with the amount of time that you have with a conventional doctor these days, you really are filling out a quick form. You're going into the office, you're waiting for however long and the doctor comes in and out. It's like, okay, oh, you're still on this medication K your blood pressure is a little bit high. So we might have to add another medication. There just isn't enough time and there's not enough knowledge because I mean, I know that you probably feel the same way.

in our training, you don't learn to ask these kinds of questions. And so you don't know to, but I think it's so important and it's so refreshing to hear other physicians out there who are doing this and asking these questions.

Alona (26:03.534)
Yeah.

think it's so important and I think because there isn't that education, we miss that connection. So when somebody comes in and I just, I can't stop eating that ice cream at 11 p.m. I just, I know what I should eat and I just can't do it. I know I should be exercising every day and I just can't do it. And then you start delving into what's happening for you. Well, I'm working three jobs.

two kids that I'm bickering with or fighting with, there's tension all the time in my house. Of course you're going to be eating ice cream at 11 o'clock. You're looking for some relief. And no, you're not going to be able to exercise the next day. You're exhausted. You're drained. You're completely depleted. There's nothing there. So it starts to make sense why there's nothing wrong with you.

You know, it's not that there's something wrong with you, which is why you're going for the ice cream. It's a natural instinct. You're actually trying to survive. You're trying to find some relief for yourself. Of course, you're not going to exercise. You're listening to your body that says, I'm just too tired. I don't have it in me.

So it's then how do we take that package and repackage it in a way that you can nourish yourself, you can find relief in other ways, but when you don't even identify that that's why you're going for the ice cream or the chocolate, then you can't even start to unravel or retell that story or do anything different.

Niki Davis, MD (27:45.844)
Right, because you're telling yourself that the reason you're going for it is because there's something wrong with you. That you don't have the willpower, that you're failing, that you're not good enough. I imagine that when people meet with you and I mean, it's actually really great to just hear you talking about this, making it feel normal, normalizing that behavior.

Alona (27:51.916)
Yes, you don't have willpower.

Yes. Yes.

Niki Davis, MD (28:14.383)
and tying it back to something else that it isn't just that, you know, it's not at all that you're a failure and it's not at all that you don't have the willpower. There's something else going on and that's what we need to focus on. I just don't think that that's happening. That's not something that people are hearing. They're hearing that they just need to, you you just need to stop eating at a certain time and just, you know, get it out of the house. And I mean, of course I talk to people about, you know, making sure your environment is clean and it's a lot

Alona (28:22.254)
Yes.

Alona (28:26.466)
Absolutely. Yeah.

Alona (28:36.079)
yeah.

Niki Davis, MD (28:43.791)
more difficult to go for that ice cream if it's not in your freezer waiting for you, which is true. But we're still, you know, as lifestyle medicine practitioners, we need to be looking at the whole person and not just, you know, based on the environment, but it's also based, you know, what is going on in your life, looking at the whole picture.

Alona (29:03.692)
Yes. Yeah.

And I think when we fail to do that, it's one of the reasons that people are not getting better. Why we still have an obesity epidemic, why we have a diabetes epidemic, why heart disease is still a number one killer. All these things are still there. We're not making a dent in it. And I think a big part of that is because we're missing this piece. We're missing the piece that helps people actually make the change that they are desiring.

to make.

Niki Davis, MD (29:37.907)
Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Alona, for being here today. This has been really an amazing episode. I think a lot of people are going to learn a lot from this. So we would love for you, whoever's listening today, to join our growing community at plantbasedsupport.org. And you can attend our virtual events. We even have in-person events now. If you love our show, please help us grow at plantbasedsupport.org. Every donation helps us support

more people like you on their journey to health. And in addition to plantbasedsupport.org, you can also find us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn. Now, Dr. Polde, do you have a website or social media handle or any place else that people can go to learn more about you and what you do and get signed up to work with you?

Alona (30:26.86)
Yeah, absolutely. If you go to connectiondocs.com and we also have an Instagram connection docs. So either way you can find more about us and more about what we do and absolutely if there's interest in working with us.

Niki Davis, MD (30:44.711)
Wonderful. Well, I definitely will be sending people your way. So I really appreciate you sharing what you do with us today. All right. Well, thank you again for your time. And until next time, I'm Dr. Nikki Davis with the Plant Based Support Podcast.